Kmart

You had baked beans for breakfast,
You’re starting to fart;
It’s getting stronger the longer
You stay in Kmart.
You can’t run away,
You must buy that cake mixture.
You look to the roof,
A quick escape you can’t picture.
You're offensively smelly,
But without cake mix there’s nothing
To have with the jelly –
Or could you try chicken stuffing?
Abandoning your shopping,
You race out the store.
To the loo you come hopping,
Thoughts of dinner no more.

It's funny how crises can alter your views,
Whittling life down to its core.
What does it matter which cake mix you choose
When your bowels have come to the fore?
Quickfire decisions -
You empty your load.
Sweet relief, holy visions!
You've cracked the code!
Spongecake it'll be,
With jelly delight.
Eat that, and hopefully,
Your bowels won't ignite.